Don’t Wait for Anyone
Inaction is a slow death.
If there’s one thing that I’ve learned from the various moves I’ve made and paths I’ve crossed in life, it would be to not wait around for others.
But isn’t patience a virtue?
It’s quite a broad statement, I know. So let’s unpack it.
How many times has someone mentioned a plan to you that never came to fruition – hundreds, maybe thousands of times?
And you end up sitting around, waiting, like a baccalà, holding on to false hope.
You put too much trust in words.
Actions > words.
It’s easy to be let down by someone you trust. I mean, you want to think the best of people, no?
In principal, yes. But often it’s better to take that on the chin, and make a move anyway.
If I waited around for other people to join me in a variety of things that I’ve wanted to do in life – trips, activities, you name it – I wouldn’t have ended up doing probably 80% of them.
So ultimately, what’s the lesson?
There are two:
1. Manage expectations by being a better judge of people
Take a step back from the emotional part of your brain. Use your rationale.
People like to talk. People like to suggest things. It’s easy to throw words around. It’s difficult to act on them.
“Let’s go for coffee sometime?” – how rich would you be if you had a dollar for every time someone said that to you and never followed up on it.
Get to know people better before getting your hopes up about something they say.
In fact, when you then know them well, you’ll have a better gauge on whether or not they’re serious when they suggest some kind of plan or idea to you.
All that said, this is two-fold – be careful about what you say and to whom you say it. You could easily become this type of person, with this type of reputation.
Be sincere instead of being nice. Not everyone will like it, but those that truly care to be around you will respect it. The older you get, the more important that becomes.
2. Accept that you’ll do a lot of things on your own
The greatest thing holding you back.
And I get it – human beings are social, enjoy being around others, and most importantly, when around others, all those thoughts are occupied with other things.
When you’re alone, it’s just you with your own thoughts.
Scary? Depends, I guess.
But it really shouldn’t be.
Let that go.
Once you let that go, you can do anything you want to do and enjoy doing it. Whether people are around you or not.
You can have an amazing time by yourself. Doesn’t discount the fun that you can have with other people, but you can have just as great of a time (and I would argue, sometimes better) doing what you want to do all by yourself.
That’s true freedom, in my opinion.
The sheer liberty that comes with doing something that you’ve always wanted to do, whatever that may be, on your own, can’t be topped.
The alternative can and will often be waiting around, hoping for that person or group of people to do it with you, as they may have mentioned, and then being disappointed as it didn’t come to fruition as you imagined.
You get your hopes up and they inevitably get crushed.
You want to do something? Don’t wait for others.
Go ahead and do it.
Make it work.
