5 Things that I Learned from Being an Expat
“It is a bitter-sweet thing, knowing two cultures. Once you leave your birthplace, nothing is ever the same.” – Sarah Turnbull
I haven’t “travelled the world” by any means, but I’ve been fortunate enough to have had some extended stays as an expat, living in a few other cities and countries, that I will never forget.
The experience that I had in each place was unique and truly transformative. Opportunities from which I learned a lot, to say the least – which is why I wanted to share five things that I learned from being an expat:
1. Expectations will, almost always, let you down.
It’s much easier said than done (something I have definitely not perfected), but it’s imperative to go into being an expat with zero expectations.
From the get-go, expectations will sway your experience in one way or another. Most of the time these expectations are influenced by the cultural environment in which you live/were raised, rendering them inapplicable in new environments.
Striving to maintain an open mind and taking things as they come, day by day, will in turn allow you to embrace what is right in front of you with a clear conscience and open mind.
That’s not to say don’t prepare a bit before a big move, but rather allow for the unexpected to arise because really, there’s no better way to test your resiliency and adaptability as a human being in the world than expecting the unexpected.
2. Sometimes, the grass is greener on the other side.
Everyone knows this proverb. Sometimes, however, the grass is actually greener.
Some people will throw this your way to try to hold you back for a number of reasons, but ask yourself if these people have ever experienced what you have.
You’re your own person, meaning that you know what works best for you, your values, your feelings and your lifestyle. It all comes down to you.
You’re not confined to a specific place and situation simply for the arbitrary fact that it’s where you were born and raised. There’s a difference between the terms hometown and home.
It’s up to you to decide how you define such terms for yourself, and not someone else’s responsibility.
It’s also important to understand that regardless of where you live, there is always some sort of bias in regards to how the inhabitants of a particular place view themselves and their own “home”, as well as how they view the rest of the world and other people.
It’s easy to sit back, hear a few things, and generalize. It’s hard to put yourself out there, forge your own thoughts and truly learn about the unfamiliar with an open mind. Ignorance is bliss, no?
The world’s a big place. Discover it for yourself.
3. You learn more about “back home” when you’re not living there.
“Back home” everything is “normal”, or “the way things should be”, until you legitimately remove yourself from that environment and live somewhere else.
People like to talk about culture shock and the accompanying feelings when going somewhere else, however the real culture shock is when you go “back home”.
Being plucked out of the environment in which you’ve always lived opens you up to the possibilities of different ideas and lifestyles that exist elsewhere. It gives you the ability to see how diverse cultures operate, what works and what doesn’t.
Living elsewhere allows for you to reflect critically on your experiences and the community in which you were raised with respect to this new environment.
Does your community really do and think about everything the “right way”? What constitutes the “right way” anyways? Does a “right way” even exist?
4. You don’t need to live near your family members to show that you love them.
I don’t have to tell anyone that family is incredibly important. However, you don’t have to physically live near your family to show that you love them.
I was raised in a community that’s very family orientated, and I recall facing adversity towards my decision(s) to take on experiences that would require me to live away from my family. “But what about your family?”, I would receive numerous times.
The reality is that when you live with/near people (not just family, even friends) you can often become caught up in daily life and take advantage of the fact that these people are always around you, going so far as to believe that they always will be.
However, when you’re no longer living with or near your family or even old friends, a real and genuine effort is required to keep in contact and show how much you care for these people: on the flip-side of that, you’ll also learn about how much you are valued by family and old friends by the effort that they put in to stay connected with you.
5. Doesn’t matter where you go, people are people.
You can do research on a different city, country, its existing cultures and people. You can speak with those who have lived in that city/country and listen to their stories, but until you go there yourself and forge your own living experience, you’ll never truly understand it.
Anywhere you go in the world, people are still people. Kind and rude people, aggressive motorists: these people exist everywhere.
While stereotypes could be noticed and applicable to some people, they cannot be applied to every single person who belongs to a particular culture (if that wasn’t already common sense).
All people are free-thinkers; what they do is not always related to their culture or country or the history of either.
At the end of the day, most people around the world want the same basic things in life: for themselves and their families to be healthy, safe and happy.
🌍🌏🌎
